Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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