you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
