I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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