He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
