yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have fence marks all over my body
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
