Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
