i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
