when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
