this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
