I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
