I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
True but thats because hes a fetus.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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