OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
