how can u be prego again
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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