i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
handjob tips. give me some.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
