Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
