its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
