What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Come on in and take your pants off
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