I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Someone came in the potted fern
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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