evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
