the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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