So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
