Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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