And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
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Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize