Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
What a dumb baby whore.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
