The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
