But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
