You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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