one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
