I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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