So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
