I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
