Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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