youre lurking in front of me
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
