Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
