drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize