i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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