dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
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everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
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If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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