Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
