it wasn't lemon gatorade
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I FOUND THE LEGS
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
