yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
