There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
