if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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