i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
