Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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