I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
