dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
