Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
