He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
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