I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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