I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I bet he comes in French.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
