Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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