super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
