That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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