Just cropdusted the office
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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