What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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