you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
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you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
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He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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