so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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