apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
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The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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