Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
