Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
