he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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