I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
