u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
