it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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