GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
