You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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