p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
