what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
