I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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