I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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