that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
