My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Randomize
