my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
high people should be assigned attendants
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
